Caught Red Cupcake'd

Have you ever tried to be super sneaky about something. . .or better said, you're in the act of sneakiness when you're totally and utterly caught? You know, the whole 'deer caught in headlights', 'this isn't what you think!' reaction? Yeah, that happened to me today. The funny thing is, I didn't even have the need to sneak, I was completely justified in my actions. And yet, when I was 'caught' I felt extremely guilty. Let me explain.

I work 10-hour days. They get long, and I get hungry. Every single day. Imagine that. I don't always pack myself enough food to last me through the day before my stomach starts eating itself. And trust me, it can get ugly. I strategically staggered my intake of fuel for the day so I didn't end up starving by quittin' time and around 11am-ish, I was grabbing my goodies for 2nd breakfast in the break room. I saved my last oh-so-delicious pumpkin cupcake which Kyle made (for reals) delicately on the shelf in the fridge and patted it endearingly like you'd pat a four-year-old's head for doing something good. Just then, I had this sudden Gollum-like obsession for The Ring (a.k.a Tasty Little Cupcake) surge into me from no where (Kim's stomach: that "no where" was me). There was no one in the room, of which I didn't consciously note previously, but maybe subconsciously it triggered the subsequent action. I literally dove for the cupcake with aforementioned Gollum-crazed lust. I'm pretty sure the words, "My precious!" sizzled from my quivering lips. I shoved the innocent cupcake in my mouth thinking, "I deserve one measly bite" and began to devour. I was even hunched over the fridge in my maniacal moment. But it was a moment of cupcake bliss. . . and it was also a moment. Suddenly, a fellow hospital worker walked in. Cue deer caught in headlights. It was ever so brief but in that brief I felt like the room went pitch black and an unforgiving spotlight exposed my baked goods rampage. I quickly looked at my cupcake which seemed to blankly stare back at me stating, "don't look at me, ya freak". From every vantage point, even from my own, it appeared as if this was not my cupcake and I was taking it for my own. But I wasn't'! It was mine! All mine, dangit!



I mumbled something about how I was just chomping on my cupcake and she smiled and said, "Chomp away" while directing her attention elsewhere, purposely or not, I'm not sure. But I could see something in that smile. I would have made that smile if I were in her shoes. Partly because she usually wears really cute shoes, but more for witnessing this moment of mine. Thankfully she is very friendly and seems unassuming so it wasn't a big deal, but I was glad to swallow my remaining evidence and quickly retreat to my office.

I don't get embarrassed too easily but I have to admit, I was a little. I laughed it off and started thinking about those moments. The moments we all undoubtedly have where we throw caution to the wind and, knowingly or not, expose our true-yet-extreme selves. Do you have any of those? Was it satisfying or embarrassing? Mine was a little of both. In this case, the experience was induced by my obvious hunger, but for others it may be something else. A range of different emotions may be the instigators as well as a big one, fatigue. (Case in point, this morning it took three attempts for me to push the right button to the floor I wanted to exit from the elevator because I was so tired and not thinking straight. I laughed about it but the woman with me didn't think it was so funny. Great day for me, no?).

I guess my point is. . . embrace these moments. Laugh at it, enjoy it, poke fun at it if you have to. I'm mainly telling myself this, of course. And, if you find yourself the deer in a moment of awkward and/or paralyzing exposition, be sure to have a cupcake on hand. It will taste much better.