The Top 10 Reasons Why Online Dating Worked For Me

Yes. It's a fact. Yours Truly and Yours Truly's hubby actually met, went a-courtin', and shared nuptial vows on the World Wide Web. Ok, not really all that - just the meeting part. For most of you readers, this is old news. But for some, it may be a surprise. To those I say, "Uh... surprise!"

Since Kyle and I started dating seriously, conversations with other people usually went something like this:

"Wow he's 6'8''? That's so stinkin' tall!"
"Yeah, it is."
"But you're tall too, so that's good."
"Yeah. . . it is" (I was rather eloquent back then)
"So, how'd you guys meet?"

This was the inevitable moment of the conversation I dreaded. I'm not really sure why. I wasn't ashamed of how we met, but when you reveal that you met someone 'online' you can get a myriad of responses ranging from mildly curious to rather appalled. Actually, to be fair, no one really freaked out when I told them but there were definitely a few that became uncomfortable with the idea and regressed back to how tall our kids were going to be (we've already had several dibs to be their agents should they play for the Jazz . . . and if they turn out to be black). I can't really blame them. I think online dating used to carry a negative stigma that people who set up profile of themselves were desperate, couldn't find a date in the "normal" (offline) world, or only the social rejects did that sort of thing. The key words in this sentence are "used to". Times have changed, yo (fo' rizzle). This is the 21st century where one can practically do anything and everything by clicking a few times here and typing a few words there. Some businesses rely solely on selling their product online. Families and friends stay connected better than ever before in history. It's no wonder the Dating Scene has also been effected by the Dot.Com industry.

My mind has been on the subject as of late because three friends of mine (you know who you are:) unbeknownst to each other, asked me for advice and/or about my experience with online dating. One even called me the 'Resident Expert'. Well. . .ahem. . I wouldn't say that (yes, I would) but I have had experience on the matter and some advice to go with it (really good advice, too.) That's why I came up with The Top 10 Reasons Why Online Dating Worked For Me. I realize this is based uniquely on my opinions and real-life experiences. But hey, inquiring minds want to know. OK, they don't really but this is my blog, dang it, and TRAX told me to do it:

#10 I wasn't an idiot
Plain and simple. Though I have to give credit to Jodie as she gave her sisterly advice so frequently when we were living together (thanks, Jo!). If I decided to meet someone in person, I met them in public, provided my own transportation, and kept it short and sweet. I heard about a true story in the news of a girl meeting up with a guy she met online at 3AM in a KMart parking lot. . .then was surprised when he didn't have the best of intentions. Seriously? Was she an idiot? Most likely.


#9 I was myself
Precious, I know. But true. I never tried to make myself out to be something more or less than I was. I mean, I'm awesome, but I didn't fabricate over exaggerate any details of my awesomness. I just was.


#8 I didn't take it too seriously
Just like most things in life. I tried to keep things light and fun and tried not to expect anything more than meeting someone new. Which segues into #7..

#7 I didn't set too high of expectations (or too low for that matter)
Jodie and I joke about always setting low expectations for things you do and you'll always be pleased. Though it's all in fun, relating to meeting people online, I didn't try to expect anything amazing. I definitely expected to be treated right, but I didn't expect to find an instant husband.


#6 I learned to discern
It sounds like a inspirational statement D.A.R.E officers teach kids: Learn to Discern! I always felt I could detect sincerity (or lack thereof) and motives from those I met. Some may disagree with me saying there are people out there who can deceivingly paint any picture they want. But, and don't take this personally any of you men out there, men are not very subtle creatures. They usually say exactly what they're thinking and don't skirt around issues as much as us women do. If there were ever times I felt uneasy about someone, I didn't continue the correspondence, easy as that.


#5 I took chances
Again, some may disagree saying, "It's too risky! Too dangerous!" To that I say, refer to #10 and #6. I'm talking about the chances I took on some that I didn't really think we'd mesh with well or maybe he wasn't "my type". I met some great people, found out a lot about myself and what I wanted/didn't want in a partner. I wouldn't have been able to do that if I didn't take some (safe) chances. (p.s. Though I didn't do it often, I was the one who saw Kyle's profile and wrote him an email first. . and now here were are).

#4 I only had profiles on LDS websites
This is just for me. There are many other reputable and good dating sites that are not LDS sites. And there are some LDS sites that *gasp* have some not-so-great people on them scoping out the prospects. But for me, they worked well and I felt it worthy to use as a reason.


#3 I was patient
At times I felt it wasn't worth my time because I didn't see very much success. I took off my profile a few times then would put it back on. But overall I started to realize patience was the key and to just enjoy the ride.

#2 I didn't spend all my time online
In other words, I had a life. I spent a lot of time with Jodie and Becca while we lived together and we were involved with a lot of friends. We were also active in snowboarding, biking, and I trained for and ran a half-marathon. I didn't wait around on the computer. They might have said a bit otherwise (the roomies) but I did these things for the most part.

#1 I only went for the tall ones
. . And look which tall one I got! I've heard people say that when you meet someone that is right for you, it's not complicated or difficult or hard. . it just works. And that's how I felt with Kyle. Since the beginning, I always felt comfortable with him and loved that we seemed to mesh well. And it didn't hurt that he was a good 8 inches taller than me.

So there you have it. I may not have been perfect at each of these reasons, but overall I tried to implement them and found it was worth it in the end. Now I don't mind so much anymore when people ask how we met. It's not a typical story but it's our story (awww). I know that internet dating isn't for everyone, but it worked for me. . .as well as our future, giant, NBA-bound children. I'm sure they'll thank me one day.

Caught Red Cupcake'd

Have you ever tried to be super sneaky about something. . .or better said, you're in the act of sneakiness when you're totally and utterly caught? You know, the whole 'deer caught in headlights', 'this isn't what you think!' reaction? Yeah, that happened to me today. The funny thing is, I didn't even have the need to sneak, I was completely justified in my actions. And yet, when I was 'caught' I felt extremely guilty. Let me explain.

I work 10-hour days. They get long, and I get hungry. Every single day. Imagine that. I don't always pack myself enough food to last me through the day before my stomach starts eating itself. And trust me, it can get ugly. I strategically staggered my intake of fuel for the day so I didn't end up starving by quittin' time and around 11am-ish, I was grabbing my goodies for 2nd breakfast in the break room. I saved my last oh-so-delicious pumpkin cupcake which Kyle made (for reals) delicately on the shelf in the fridge and patted it endearingly like you'd pat a four-year-old's head for doing something good. Just then, I had this sudden Gollum-like obsession for The Ring (a.k.a Tasty Little Cupcake) surge into me from no where (Kim's stomach: that "no where" was me). There was no one in the room, of which I didn't consciously note previously, but maybe subconsciously it triggered the subsequent action. I literally dove for the cupcake with aforementioned Gollum-crazed lust. I'm pretty sure the words, "My precious!" sizzled from my quivering lips. I shoved the innocent cupcake in my mouth thinking, "I deserve one measly bite" and began to devour. I was even hunched over the fridge in my maniacal moment. But it was a moment of cupcake bliss. . . and it was also a moment. Suddenly, a fellow hospital worker walked in. Cue deer caught in headlights. It was ever so brief but in that brief I felt like the room went pitch black and an unforgiving spotlight exposed my baked goods rampage. I quickly looked at my cupcake which seemed to blankly stare back at me stating, "don't look at me, ya freak". From every vantage point, even from my own, it appeared as if this was not my cupcake and I was taking it for my own. But I wasn't'! It was mine! All mine, dangit!



I mumbled something about how I was just chomping on my cupcake and she smiled and said, "Chomp away" while directing her attention elsewhere, purposely or not, I'm not sure. But I could see something in that smile. I would have made that smile if I were in her shoes. Partly because she usually wears really cute shoes, but more for witnessing this moment of mine. Thankfully she is very friendly and seems unassuming so it wasn't a big deal, but I was glad to swallow my remaining evidence and quickly retreat to my office.

I don't get embarrassed too easily but I have to admit, I was a little. I laughed it off and started thinking about those moments. The moments we all undoubtedly have where we throw caution to the wind and, knowingly or not, expose our true-yet-extreme selves. Do you have any of those? Was it satisfying or embarrassing? Mine was a little of both. In this case, the experience was induced by my obvious hunger, but for others it may be something else. A range of different emotions may be the instigators as well as a big one, fatigue. (Case in point, this morning it took three attempts for me to push the right button to the floor I wanted to exit from the elevator because I was so tired and not thinking straight. I laughed about it but the woman with me didn't think it was so funny. Great day for me, no?).

I guess my point is. . . embrace these moments. Laugh at it, enjoy it, poke fun at it if you have to. I'm mainly telling myself this, of course. And, if you find yourself the deer in a moment of awkward and/or paralyzing exposition, be sure to have a cupcake on hand. It will taste much better.

Buckle up, here we go...

I heart TRAX. I really do. Ever since I decided to sell my car and thus rid myself of such nagging grown-up responsibilities like the monthly car and insurance payments, gas fill-ups, regular oil changes and washes, with the occasional vanilla tree air freshener (I know, it was very needy), it has been, in the words of my sister, Lynde, "just lovely". Even though I am anti-early-morning-riser all the way (I have a lengthy pros and cons list on the subject. . .sans pros), I actually don't mind getting up a little earlier than needs be to ride the Utah Transit Authority's Public Transportation System to and from work. And that's saying A LOT because I also heart sleep. Like, double heart.

Whilst aboard TRAX, I have been enjoying a roughly 35 min. (give or take a few depending on the level of the train operator's compassion meter for the frantic student/businessman(woman)/cyclist sprinting to the doors before he/she closes them) worry-free, ever-so-jostly oasis of free time all to myself. And about 20 strangers. Today would have been 21 but apparently the meter was low. Usually I take advantage of said moments by reading. Morning is for the spiritual jump-start before a busy day; afternoon is for whatever library book I've undoubtedly renewed and at least once. I would return them sooner if I didn't pontificate so frequently with my fellow TRAX riders about the book's contents. . . ok, fine, I like to look at the pictures. When I finished my latest book last week, I considered which paperback to be my next TRAX time-passer victim. I took too long considering because when I boarded today after a long day at work, ready to dive into some good literature and let the commute float by, I was unprepared -- no book. I foresaw two options in my immediate future: 1) Initiate an extremely awkward and uncomfortable staring contest with a complete stranger (you'd be surprised at my "Blue Steel" capabilities), or 2) Read more from the Good Word (remember from the morning routine?). As I scoffed at the idea that I could become even MORE enlightened than I already am (shifty eyes scanning for lightning bolts) a figurative light bulb illuminated above my head, "You should start your blog!" After realizing it was more of a neon sign bearing the message than a light bulb, I started to think. . . Kind of bossy but not a bad idea.

For a few weeks I had determined to join the World of Blog and start one of my very own, but I was struggling with choosing the right name. Also, the right idea. What did I want to write about? I just got married this year, I could be "KSqaured" inspired by the Ks in Kim and Kyle and write about the wackies and wiles of our married life. Or, I thought about titling my blog, "The Nice One" from a nickname my family gave me and expose the truth that I'm not so nice after all (surely riveting, I know). Although an entry about that story will likely ensue, I decided not to go for it. And besides, it was taken (dang you, other nice one!). As I took my seat on TRAX, it all started coming together: Instead of reading on the TRAX ride home, why don't you write your blog? You always complain about having no time to do it. Well, here's your chance. And, hey, your last name is Day, you could play with that. . . (wheels a-turning)

. . . And so it begins. From the weird, to the funny, to the random, to the delightfully clever and yet surprisingly poignant.. this is me. . on TRAX. Any questions? I can't promise anything but I can promise it will be written while I ride TRAX. Don't be confused, I'm not writing about TRAX, I'm writing while on TRAX, but riding at the same time. Makey sensey? It's kind of like the saying, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade". Well, when life hands me TRAX, I turn it into a blog. Take that, lemonade.

Hope you enjoy the ride!