The Top 10 Reasons Why Online Dating Worked For Me

Yes. It's a fact. Yours Truly and Yours Truly's hubby actually met, went a-courtin', and shared nuptial vows on the World Wide Web. Ok, not really all that - just the meeting part. For most of you readers, this is old news. But for some, it may be a surprise. To those I say, "Uh... surprise!"

Since Kyle and I started dating seriously, conversations with other people usually went something like this:

"Wow he's 6'8''? That's so stinkin' tall!"
"Yeah, it is."
"But you're tall too, so that's good."
"Yeah. . . it is" (I was rather eloquent back then)
"So, how'd you guys meet?"

This was the inevitable moment of the conversation I dreaded. I'm not really sure why. I wasn't ashamed of how we met, but when you reveal that you met someone 'online' you can get a myriad of responses ranging from mildly curious to rather appalled. Actually, to be fair, no one really freaked out when I told them but there were definitely a few that became uncomfortable with the idea and regressed back to how tall our kids were going to be (we've already had several dibs to be their agents should they play for the Jazz . . . and if they turn out to be black). I can't really blame them. I think online dating used to carry a negative stigma that people who set up profile of themselves were desperate, couldn't find a date in the "normal" (offline) world, or only the social rejects did that sort of thing. The key words in this sentence are "used to". Times have changed, yo (fo' rizzle). This is the 21st century where one can practically do anything and everything by clicking a few times here and typing a few words there. Some businesses rely solely on selling their product online. Families and friends stay connected better than ever before in history. It's no wonder the Dating Scene has also been effected by the Dot.Com industry.

My mind has been on the subject as of late because three friends of mine (you know who you are:) unbeknownst to each other, asked me for advice and/or about my experience with online dating. One even called me the 'Resident Expert'. Well. . .ahem. . I wouldn't say that (yes, I would) but I have had experience on the matter and some advice to go with it (really good advice, too.) That's why I came up with The Top 10 Reasons Why Online Dating Worked For Me. I realize this is based uniquely on my opinions and real-life experiences. But hey, inquiring minds want to know. OK, they don't really but this is my blog, dang it, and TRAX told me to do it:

#10 I wasn't an idiot
Plain and simple. Though I have to give credit to Jodie as she gave her sisterly advice so frequently when we were living together (thanks, Jo!). If I decided to meet someone in person, I met them in public, provided my own transportation, and kept it short and sweet. I heard about a true story in the news of a girl meeting up with a guy she met online at 3AM in a KMart parking lot. . .then was surprised when he didn't have the best of intentions. Seriously? Was she an idiot? Most likely.


#9 I was myself
Precious, I know. But true. I never tried to make myself out to be something more or less than I was. I mean, I'm awesome, but I didn't fabricate over exaggerate any details of my awesomness. I just was.


#8 I didn't take it too seriously
Just like most things in life. I tried to keep things light and fun and tried not to expect anything more than meeting someone new. Which segues into #7..

#7 I didn't set too high of expectations (or too low for that matter)
Jodie and I joke about always setting low expectations for things you do and you'll always be pleased. Though it's all in fun, relating to meeting people online, I didn't try to expect anything amazing. I definitely expected to be treated right, but I didn't expect to find an instant husband.


#6 I learned to discern
It sounds like a inspirational statement D.A.R.E officers teach kids: Learn to Discern! I always felt I could detect sincerity (or lack thereof) and motives from those I met. Some may disagree with me saying there are people out there who can deceivingly paint any picture they want. But, and don't take this personally any of you men out there, men are not very subtle creatures. They usually say exactly what they're thinking and don't skirt around issues as much as us women do. If there were ever times I felt uneasy about someone, I didn't continue the correspondence, easy as that.


#5 I took chances
Again, some may disagree saying, "It's too risky! Too dangerous!" To that I say, refer to #10 and #6. I'm talking about the chances I took on some that I didn't really think we'd mesh with well or maybe he wasn't "my type". I met some great people, found out a lot about myself and what I wanted/didn't want in a partner. I wouldn't have been able to do that if I didn't take some (safe) chances. (p.s. Though I didn't do it often, I was the one who saw Kyle's profile and wrote him an email first. . and now here were are).

#4 I only had profiles on LDS websites
This is just for me. There are many other reputable and good dating sites that are not LDS sites. And there are some LDS sites that *gasp* have some not-so-great people on them scoping out the prospects. But for me, they worked well and I felt it worthy to use as a reason.


#3 I was patient
At times I felt it wasn't worth my time because I didn't see very much success. I took off my profile a few times then would put it back on. But overall I started to realize patience was the key and to just enjoy the ride.

#2 I didn't spend all my time online
In other words, I had a life. I spent a lot of time with Jodie and Becca while we lived together and we were involved with a lot of friends. We were also active in snowboarding, biking, and I trained for and ran a half-marathon. I didn't wait around on the computer. They might have said a bit otherwise (the roomies) but I did these things for the most part.

#1 I only went for the tall ones
. . And look which tall one I got! I've heard people say that when you meet someone that is right for you, it's not complicated or difficult or hard. . it just works. And that's how I felt with Kyle. Since the beginning, I always felt comfortable with him and loved that we seemed to mesh well. And it didn't hurt that he was a good 8 inches taller than me.

So there you have it. I may not have been perfect at each of these reasons, but overall I tried to implement them and found it was worth it in the end. Now I don't mind so much anymore when people ask how we met. It's not a typical story but it's our story (awww). I know that internet dating isn't for everyone, but it worked for me. . .as well as our future, giant, NBA-bound children. I'm sure they'll thank me one day.